Dial M For Merde (Stephen Clarke)

Black Swan: In the South of France, Paul West has a license to thrill.

He has just received an offer he can't refuse: two weeks in the sun, all expenses paid, with a beautiful blonde called Gloria Monday.

But it soon becomes obvious that M, as Gloria likes to be known, is not really interested in holidaying with Paul. She has bigger fish to fry.

Meanwhile Paul's best friend Elodie is getting married, and Paul is asked to do the catering. Cooking for the French is a risky assignment at the best of times, but Paul assures Elodie that nothing can go wrong.

Or can it?

When Paul discovers that M's real target is France's biggest fish of all - the new President - and that he's coming to Elodie's wedding, he realises that the merde is about to hit the fan ...